Life is a gradual journey. Sometimes in life we look around and think, how did I get to this place or situation? One experience gradually meshes into the next, and so on until one day we either find ourselves unhappy, disillusioned, feeling out of sync, or like in my case out of balance.
Getting your life in order with priorities and balance can be a challenging. It can be tricky. With the best intentions for your life, we can can lose our way and find self-worth and life identity and value in other means.
For me, after recovering from years of being sick with a kidney disease, I was not able to work at the level I wished. After a life saving kidney transplant I found myself healthy for the first time in over ten years.
Once I was healthy, I couldn’t wait to get back to work as a corporate video producer/director and live event producer. I was eager to make up for what I thought was "lost years of productivity." I felt that I let my family down with the loss of potential earnings being very ill. I needed to feel that I was contributing to household again in the way I desired.
I dove into my work like never before with enthusiasm, stamina and energy! I run my own corporate media company Trinity Media, Inc. We produce content for fortune 100 companies. They hire my company to produce internal and external video productions, live press release events, annual conferences, town hall meetings, shareholder meetings and community relations events.
As time went on, I became increasingly busy with work and pleasing our clients. I was unknowingly and slowly shifting into gaining my self-worth from my work. Before my kidney transplant being so ill most of the time, my self-worth was very low. After my kidney transplant, when I was healthy again, I was enthusiastically working one project into the next without any breaks ,I would say to myself, “What’s wrong with earning a living?” "Go Man Go!!"
This thinking was fine for a while, until a life shift had gone unnoticed as it was disguised in making a living. Slowly, my life had unknowingly evolved into valuing work which had taken priority over my personal relationships with my wife, family, friends and most of all God.
When you get to this place your life, it seems as though life gets harder, nothing seems to go as easy at it once did. Everything I tried was harder and more frustrating than ever before; though you are doing your best it takes twice as much effort, and nothing falls into place as it once did. During this time one can unknowingly start to disconnect from their support system; the support system being your spouse, family friends and God. Since your support system is no longer part of one's self-worth, one can unknowingly start to disengage those relationships. I found that everyone was disappointed in me, and not there to offer help as before. I had in a way, turned my back on the people that mattered the most in my life and placed work first place.
What’s wrong with making a living right?? Nothing, if you do it in balance.
Don’t make the mistake through the best intentions like I did. When things had gradually evolved into the most difficult times my life priority list looked like this:
- 1. Work
- 2. Friends
- 3. Family
- 4. Spouse
- 5. God
This life priority order didn’t work for me at all. When you’re working hard but everyone that really matters in your life is angry and disappointed in you for not being at family functions or not honoring date nights, etcetera, work can be a lonely place and unfulfilling too.
This is usually the moment when you find your life out of balance, and you ask yourself, “How did I get here? What happened? Why am I miserable and despised by everyone? I just want to make a good living for my family, and save some money too...what's wrong with that?
This is an example of how living out of balance can subtlety steal your joy and ruin relationships. For me this was my dilemma. My newfound health indirectly clouded my ability to make life-balancing decisions. In my book new book “Triumph” “Living Inside Out’ I go into much more detail of how to avoid these subtle shifts that can lead down the road of an unbalanced life.
Once out of balance having to navigate back into balance I learned valuable insights that I share in great detail in my book. Some the lessons I learned were:
1. Give yourself time to heal mentally and physically after a tragic accident or long-term illness or major life shift like divorce or the death of a loved one for example.
2. Take your time and methodically plan your next life steps in sync with your life priority list.
3. Plan your work and work your plan
For me personally, I found that #3 is where I made the biggest breakthrough in life restoration. I looked at my life priority list and was truthful about making the changes necessary changes. My next steps for my life plan became more apparent that I must radically change the order of my life priority list, so that I could find balance in work, family and spirituality. My life priority was rearranged to this order:
- 1. God
- 2. Spouse
- 3. Family
- 4. Friends
- 5. Work
Basically, I found that I was totally out of sync with life priorities. Like many of us making a living was a top priority. I think we all agree that making a living is important, but at what cost to your family and your spiritual beliefs?
Once I realized why my life was so hard and out of sync, I was able to make a conscious shift in my reality. Once I made “the shift” a miraculous thing happened, my life started to feel better, things fell into place, I was better balanced and in “the moment” in each area of my life.
When I was grateful to God for all he had done bringing me out of my illness, and spent quality time with my wife, family and friends my work just into place. My life was more fulfilling!
Studies in human behavior show that a routine becomes a habit after 30 days of repetition. I encourage you to define and create your life priority list, then stick to it for thirty days when making life decisions and notice how much better and orderly your life feels.
You can live better from the inside out! Start today!
For more information on living better from the inside out, to secure Mr. Ewell to speak at your next special event or where to purchase Tim's new book, "Triumph" Living Inside Out, please visit his website, there you'll find more useful information and resources.